Most Strange

This place is most strange. And look at me. No wonder I can’t find a husband. I am a husband! Need to get contacts, a high-class wig (reddish). Drop forty pounds and obtain some stylish clothes (and heels).

Things to do: Call for referral for surgeons. Have breast augmentation, sex-change operation and add freckles.

Draft for column: Abraham Lincoln (remember him) was the first Republican President. He was reared in a tiny wooden shack without plumbing or loving-kindness. His family owned an ax and a plow. He had little formal schooling and went on to become an inspiring writer, speaker (yes a lawyer too) and leader. The clarity of his thought is obvious across the planet and the generations. He was even nicknamed for his truthfulness. Inheriting a divided nation he saved the Union.

If Lincoln was Lincoln, then the current Republican President is the anti-Lincoln. His parents, grandparents and great-grandparents were millionaires. He went to the finest and most expensive schools and can not speak a single clear sentence. He is quoted only to prove the untruthfulness of earlier statements or by humorists mocking his twisted logic and prose. He inherited a nation calling for unity and instead divided it...

Side note: Throw out all the crap in the refrigerator and pick up some yogurts and bran muffins. God, these legs are awful. And I’m so out of shape. Time for a few crunches. Ugh, Ooo, Ugh. Maybe some jumping-jacks will get the blood pumping. Yikes what was that?

Thank goodness, the switch clicked over... Let’s see these computer notes. She was going to cut off my gonads! Just like her. Yogurt? Must have a good steak. Take an extra pill.

Will you read this trash... I’ll have to remove the hard-drive and eat it. Oh by the way, here’s a little collage of my return trip.