The New Enemy

It's totally untrue that my role in this Administration has been affected. I've been involved in evaluating new threats to our country. Just the other day in Sierra Leone a group of chimpanzees escaped from a preserve and attacked American tourists. A local man was killed in the attack. Blame decades of liberal animal-rights organizers mollycoddling these vicious beasts. Liberal Hollywood movies have perverted our thinking about these primates. They are our competitors! We need to show our resolve to the chimpanzee threat worldwide! If we want to preserve our way of life we'll have to be prepared to bite them back and pull off THEIR gonads. At the very least we must continue to destroy their habitats where they learn hatred for the American way of life. Death to Chimpanzees!